Helping you build a relationship that works for both of you
Built on trust, affection, respect and care, and knowing how to solve problems together
Hi, I'm Paul
For the past 15 years, I’ve worked exclusively with couples struggling to make their relationship work.
More than 20 years ago, I was struggling with my own. It was a lonely and difficult time, being with the person I’d chosen to spend my life with, yet feeling that nothing we tried worked.
I know what it is like to wonder whether things can change, whether someone will understand and whether counselling will help.
My experience of counselling inspired me to retrain as a psychotherapist. I spent five years in primary care before specialising in couples.
Today, I work with couples in Caterham and the surrounding areas, as well as online.
Making a lasting difference
That experience is partly why I’m passionate about delivering therapy that brings about lasting change—emotionally, behaviourally, psychologically and practically—in your relationship, rather than simply helping you cope better.
You’ll learn to understand what is happening between you that keeps you struggling and stuck, and together we’ll pinpoint what needs to change for you as a couple and for each of you individually, while I make therapy easy to understand and use.
We begin making actual changes in our sessions and you’ll know how to continue at home, working on what keeps creating the difficulties as well as resolving what has brought you here.
How I'll support you
I also know that asking for help and getting to the place you want isn’t always easy. When I needed help, I felt scared, embarrassed and unsure how it all worked, and I know you might feel like that now.
That’s why I’ll guide and support you through the work, at a pace that is right for you while making sure we continue to make progress.
You’ll find me sensitive to what is difficult for you, patient and compassionate, with a sense of humour too. I also value kindness and dignity in all we do, and I won’t judge either of you or take sides. I’ve made mistakes too.
Every couple I work with receives the care and commitment I was given all those years ago, including support through the difficult conversations that are often a step towards making things right between you.
Why I know change is possible
By combining relationship knowledge, listening skills and therapeutic work, you understand what needs to change and know how to change it. Old unconscious patterns no longer keep you stuck.
You can repair hurt, solve longstanding difficulties and build something new that works for both of you. I see these changes every week in my practice.
You also learn how to live as a team, solve future differences and create security for each other.
However things are now, I hope that as you read about how I help, you realise that lasting change is possible.
Find out more
When you feel ready, you’re very welcome to call—whether you have a question, want to find out more or would like to talk things through. I know picking up the phone can feel difficult, and you don’t need to decide anything during the call.
If we meet, our first session is a chance for you to get a feel for how I work and decide whether you’d like to continue. You only pay for that session if you decide you’d like us to continue working together.
If you’d prefer to read a little more first, the links below explain how I work with couples, my background, what to expect from counselling, my fees and how to get started.
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