Helping you become the partners your relationship needs you to be
Two partners, each able to give the relationship what it needs and protect what they have together
Hi, I'm Paul
Twenty-plus years ago, I was struggling to make my own relationship work. No matter what we tried, nothing seemed to create lasting change. It was a lonely and difficult time, living beside the person I’d chosen to spend my forever with.
My experience of counselling inspired me to retrain and specialise as a couples psychotherapist. For the past 15 years, I’ve worked exclusively with couples.
I never forget when helping others what it might be like. I know how difficult things can become between two people who love each other, and how hard it can be to know what to do next.
Today, I work with couples in Caterham and the surrounding areas, and online.
How my approach is different
I see two people with their own histories, sensitivities, skills, patterns and personalities. My psychotherapy training means I can understand what’s happening within each of you, as well as between you, and tailor the work accordingly.
That’s why I work with you together, helping each partner develop in ways that allow them to become the partner their relationship needs them to be.
Together, we’ll identify what each of you and your relationship needs from the six key areas, resolving the difficulties bringing you here — whether you’re dealing with one particular issue or need to rebuild your relationship.The Couples Counselling page explains how I help couples create lasting change.
Why I know change is possible
I see relationships that have felt dead for years come back to life, and couples resolve things they have argued about for what feels like forever. How long you’ve struggled is no indication whatsoever of the outcome.
- People can only do what they currently know how to do.
- Most of what keeps couples stuck happens outside their awareness.
- Once we’re emotionally triggered, we lose the ability to think clearly and respond in the way we’d like.
- When understanding and skills change, the relationship changes.
These simple principles shape the way I work with every couple.
Working together
I know couples often arrive feeling frustrated, exhausted and uncertain about the future. It’s not always easy to talk about what is very personal, particularly when emotions are running high.
I’m calm, friendly and patient by nature. I don’t take sides or judge what has happened. We all do and say things we might regret at times. I certainly did.
You’ll also have a clear plan and always know what we’re doing, why we’re doing it and how to do it, with step-by-step guidance throughout.
Taking the next step
You won’t have to pay anything until you’ve experienced what it’s like to work together and decided I’m the right therapist for you.
You’re welcome to arrange an initial meeting, or call first if you’d prefer to talk through what’s bringing you here. There’s no pressure or obligation—I’ll be happy to make time for you.