Helping you build a relationship that works for both of you
Built on trust, affection, respect and care, and knowing how to solve problems together
Hi, I'm Paul
More than 20 years ago, I was struggling to make my own relationship work. No matter what we tried, nothing seemed to create lasting change. It was a lonely and difficult time, living beside the person I had chosen to spend my life with but not knowing how to change what was happening between us.
My experience of counselling inspired me to retrain as a psychotherapist, working initially in primary care for five years before specialising in helping couples.
I’m a BACP-accredited therapist and, for the past 15 years, I’ve worked exclusively with couples. I haven’t forgotten how difficult things can become between two people who love each other, or how hard it can be to know what to do next.
Today, I work with couples in Caterham and the surrounding areas, as well as online.
Making a lasting difference
That experience is part of why I’m passionate about therapy that makes a lasting, tangible difference – emotionally, practically, psychologically and behaviourally – in your relationship and your lives, rather than simply helping you cope better.
I’ll help you understand what is happening between you that keeps you struggling and stuck, and together we’ll pinpoint what needs to change for you as a couple and for each of you individually, while making therapy easy to understand and use.
With my guidance, we begin making actual changes in our sessions so you know how to continue at home, working on what keeps creating the difficulties as well as resolving what has brought you here.
How I'll support you
I also know how difficult taking the step into therapy can feel. When I needed help, I felt scared, embarrassed and unsure how it all worked, and I know you might feel like that now.
That’s why I’ll guide and support you through the work, helping you understand what we’re doing and how it will help, at a pace that is right for you while making sure we continue to make progress.
You’ll find me sensitive to what is difficult for you, patient and compassionate, with a sense of humour too. I also value kindness and dignity in all we do, and I won’t judge either of you or take sides. I’ve made mistakes too.
Every couple I work with receives the care and commitment I was given all those years ago, including support through the difficult conversations that are often a step towards making things better.
Why I know change is possible
I see relationships that have felt dead for years come back to life, and couples resolve things they have argued about for what feels like forever.
Feeling stuck doesn’t mean there is something fundamentally wrong with your relationship. It can mean you haven’t yet understood what needs to change, or haven’t been able to make those changes on your own.
That’s why our work solves your difficulties through genuine change, so you can leave knowing how to work through future difficulties together and look after your relationship yourselves.
No matter where you are right now, I know that with the right help, it is possible to build a relationship that is more than just getting by.
Find out more
I know you might feel uncertain about picking up the phone and what happens after that, so when you feel ready you’re very welcome to call simply to ask a question, find out more or talk things through. There’s no expectation that you need to take things any further.
If we meet, it would be for a first session, giving you the opportunity to experience how I work before deciding whether to continue. You only pay for that session if you decide you would like us to continue working together.
If you’d prefer to find out more first, you can read about how I work with couples, my background, what you can expect from counselling, my fees and how to get started.
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