Helping you build a relationship that works for both of you
Built on trust, affection, respect and care, and knowing how to solve problems together
Hi, I'm Paul
More than 20 years ago, I was struggling to make my own relationship work. No matter what we tried, nothing seemed to create lasting change. It was a lonely and difficult time, living beside the person I had chosen to spend my life with but not knowing how to change what was happening between us.
My experience of counselling changed much more than my relationship. It inspired me to retrain as a psychotherapist and specialise in working with couples.
For the past 15 years, I’ve worked exclusively with couples.
I haven’t forgotten what relationship difficulties can feel like. I know how difficult things can become between two people who love each other, and how hard it can be to know what to do next.
Today, I work with couples in Caterham and the surrounding areas, as well as online.
Making a tangible difference
I’ve always been committed to providing therapy that makes a tangible difference — emotionally, practically, behaviourally and psychologically. Not simply helping you manage your difficulties better, but helping you make changes that can genuinely change your relationship and your lives.
I’ll be actively involved in our sessions, with all the support and guidance you need to begin making those changes and to keep making progress at home.
We don’t just work on managing the problems. We work on changing what keeps creating them.
What you'll find when we work together
I know from my own experience how vulnerable it can feel sharing something as private and important as your relationship with someone else, and that it’s not always easy getting to the place you want. When I needed help, I felt afraid, unsure and had very little idea about counselling or how any of it worked.
I never forget what coming to see me might feel like for you.
I’m calm, patient and compassionate, and kindness, respect and dignity are at the heart of how I work. I won’t judge either of you or take sides. We all say and do things we regret at times. I certainly did.
But kindness doesn’t mean avoiding difficult conversations. I’ll guide and support you through therapy at a pace that is right for you, without missing opportunities to make progress.
Why I know change is possible
I see relationships that have felt dead for years come back to life, and couples resolve things they have argued about for what feels like forever.
Because of what therapy made possible for me, I care deeply that it makes a real difference for you too.
I want you not only to resolve what has brought you here, but eventually to leave knowing how to work through future difficulties together and look after your relationship yourselves.
No matter where you are right now, I know that with the right help, things can change.
Find out more
I know you might feel uncertain about picking up the phone and what happens after that. You’re very welcome to call simply to ask a question, find out more or talk things through. There’s no expectation that you need to take things any further.
Taking the next step can feel like a big decision. It might help to know that if we meet, it would be for a first session. You only pay for that session if you decide you would like us to continue working together.
If you’d prefer to find out more first, you can read about how I work with couples, my background, what you can expect from counselling and how to get started.
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