Helping you build a relationship that works for both of you
Built on trust, affection, respect and care, and knowing how to solve problems together
Hi, I'm Paul
For the past 15 years, I’ve worked exclusively with couples struggling to make their relationship work.
More than 20 years ago, I was struggling with my own. It was a lonely and difficult time, being with the person I’d chosen to spend my life with, yet feeling that nothing we tried worked.
I know what it is like to wonder whether things can change, whether someone will understand and whether counselling will help.
My experience inspired me to retrain as a psychotherapist. I spent five years in primary care before specialising in couples.
Today, I work with couples in Caterham and the surrounding areas, as well as online.
How my therapy is different
That experience is partly why I care so deeply about therapy that brings about lasting change in your relationship. Not just ways to cope better.
I’ll guide and coach you throughout, so you understand what to do and how to do it. You’ll learn the thinking behind successful relationships and practical communication skills. We’ll also do the therapeutic work on the old patterns that keep pulling you back into the same negative outcomes, again and again, no matter how hard you try.
We begin making actual changes in our sessions so you know how to continue at home, working on what keeps creating the difficulties as well as resolving what has brought you here.
How I'll support you
I know asking for help isn’t always easy. When I needed help, I felt scared, embarrassed and unsure how it all worked, and I know you might feel like that now.
I’ll support you through the work at a pace that is right for you, while making sure we continue to make progress. And if you’re unsure about what you want, we’ll make space for that too.
You’ll find me patient and compassionate, sensitive to what is difficult for you, with a sense of humour too. I value kindness and dignity, and won’t judge either of you or take sides. I’ve made mistakes too.
Every couple I work with receives the care and commitment I was given, including support through the difficult conversations that can help you find a way forward.
Why I know change is possible
When the changes we’re working towards begin to come together, I see relationships that have felt dead for years come back to life, and couples resolve things they have argued about for what feels like forever.
Through our work together, couples learn how to be together in ways that bring out the best in each of them and help them both have their needs met. They also learn how to protect what they have built by keeping their feelings for each other alive and knowing ho to work through differences together.
I hope after reading about how I help couples, you can see that change is possible for you too.
Find out more
When you feel ready, you’re very welcome to call – whether you have a question, want to find out more or would like to talk things through. I know picking up the phone can feel difficult, and you don’t need to decide anything during the call.
If we meet, our first session is a chance for you to get a feel for how I work and decide whether you’d like to continue. You only pay for that session if you decide you’d like us to continue working together.
If you’d prefer to read a little more first, the links below explain how I work with couples, my background, what to expect from counselling, my fees and how to get started.
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