Helping you build a relationship that works for both of you
Built on trust, affection, respect and care, and knowing how to solve problems together
Hi, I'm Paul
For the past 15 years, I’ve worked exclusively with couples who have been struggling to make their relationship work.
More than 20 years ago, I was struggling to make my own work. It was a lonely and difficult time, living beside the person I had chosen to spend my life with, yet finding that nothing we tried seemed to create lasting change.
I haven’t forgotten how difficult things can become between two people who love each other, or how hard it can be to know what to do next.
Counselling inspired me to retrain as a psychotherapist, spending five years in primary care before specialising in couples.
Today, I work with couples in Caterham and the surrounding areas, as well as online.
Making a lasting difference
That experience is partly why I’m passionate about delivering therapy that brings about lasting change – emotionally, behaviourally, psychologically and practically – in your relationship, rather than simply helping you cope better.
I’ll help you understand what is happening between you that keeps you struggling and stuck, and together we’ll pinpoint what needs to change for you as a couple and for each of you individually, while I make therapy easy to understand and use.
With my guidance, we begin making actual changes in our sessions so you know how to continue at home, working on what keeps creating the difficulties as well as resolving what has brought you here.
How I'll support you
I also know that asking for help and getting to the place you want isn’t always easy. When I needed help, I felt scared, embarrassed and unsure how it all worked, and I know you might feel like that now.
That’s why I’ll guide and support you through the work, at a pace that is right for you while making sure we continue to make progress.
You’ll find me sensitive to what is difficult for you, patient and compassionate, with a sense of humour too. I also value kindness and dignity in all we do, and I won’t judge either of you or take sides. I’ve made mistakes too.
Every couple I work with receives the care and commitment I was given all those years ago, including support through the difficult conversations that are often a step towards making things right between you.
Why I know change is possible
I see relationships that have felt dead for years come back to life, and couples resolve things they have argued about for what feels like forever.
None of us set out to cause hurt or to struggle, yet we do. Sometimes we don’t understand ourselves enough or know what needs to change, or haven’t been able to change things on our own.
That’s why our work solves your difficulties through genuine change, so you can leave knowing how to work through future difficulties together and look after your relationship yourselves
However things are now, I hope you can see from reading how I help that change is possible and your relationship can be far more than just getting by together.
Find out more
I know you might feel uncertain about picking up the phone and what happens after that, so when you feel ready you’re very welcome to call simply to ask a question, find out more or talk things through. There’s no expectation that you need to take things any further.
If we meet, it would be for a first session, giving you the opportunity to experience how I work before deciding whether to continue. You only pay for that session if you decide you would like us to continue working together.
If you’d prefer to find out more first, you can read about how I work with couples, my background, what you can expect from counselling, my fees and how to get started.
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