Couples Psychotherapy for Banstead
Practical, compassionate help for couples who want lasting change
Hi, I'm Paul
More than 20 years ago, I was struggling to make my own relationship work. We kept trying to change things, but nothing seemed to last. I remember how lonely it felt to be living beside the person I had chosen to spend my life with and still not know how to make things better.
My experience of counselling changed far more than my relationship. It led me to retrain as a psychotherapist and specialise in working with couples. For the past 15 years, I’ve worked exclusively with couples.
I haven’t forgotten how difficult relationship problems can feel, or how hard it can be to know what to do next. I work with couples from Banstead at my practice in Caterham, as well as online.
Therapy that makes a tangible difference
I’ve always believed therapy should make a tangible difference – emotionally, practically, behaviourally and psychologically. The aim is not simply to help you cope with the same problems more successfully, but to help you change what keeps creating them.
I’m actively involved in our sessions, giving you the support and guidance you need to begin making changes together and to continue making progress at home.
We don’t just work on managing the problems. We work on changing what keeps creating them.
What it will be like to work with me
I know from my own experience how vulnerable it can feel to share something as private and important as your relationship. When I first needed help, I felt afraid and unsure and knew very little about counselling or how it worked. I never forget what coming to see me might feel like for you.
I’m calm, patient and compassionate. Kindness, respect and dignity are at the heart of how I work, and I won’t judge either of you or take sides. We all say and do things we regret at times. I certainly did.
Kindness doesn’t mean avoiding difficult conversations. I’ll guide and support you at a pace that is right for you, while making use of opportunities to help you move forward.
Why I know things can be different
Couples arrive caught in the same negative dynamic, with the same outcomes over and over again. Often, difficulties have run for years, or it’s one big thing or they feel their relationship is no more than just getting by.
Yet each week I see that when we introduce the knowledge and understanding needed, along with caring and effective communication in place of blame and judgement, old patterns drop away and what happens between them changes.
They repair hurt, create a relationship that works for both and know how to solve differences without help.
I hope that after reading about how I help, you see change is possible for you too.
Find out more
If you’d simply like to ask a question, find out more or talk things through, you’re very welcome to call me. I’ll always make time for you, you won’t feel rushed and you don’t have to decide anything.
If you’d prefer to find out more first, you can read about how I work with couples, my background, what you can expect from counselling and how to get started.
You don’t have to know what you want to do next. Sometimes a conversation can help you work that out.
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