Paul Lipman

Couples Psychotherapist - Caterham, Surrey

My Commitment to You

How I think, work and what you can expect from me.

Where it all began

I think one of the things that helps me be good at this is that I don’t like small talk, which drives my friends crazy. They know that when we meet up, as they put it, “we’re all going to get therapy with a cup of coffee.”

It’s not exactly true, but my work has been a passion ever since I had counselling. I never intended to become a psychotherapist, but the experience was so life-changing that I turned my life upside down.

Learning Through My Own Experience

Growing up in a family that didn’t show me what a healthy relationship looked like, I simply fumbled my way through, making every mistake in the book and probably inventing a few. It was only through having counselling that I learned how to understand my own relationship and what it needed from me as a partner.

Why I Created Whole Psychology

That experience led me to train as a psychotherapist and to call my practice Whole Psychology. Although I tend to work under my own name these days, the thinking behind Whole Psychology has never changed. I believe real change only happens when you understand each person, the relationship itself and the circumstances surrounding it. That’s how we get to the root of the issues. In isolation, it’s just surface problem-solving, and that rarely lasts.

Helping Couples Build Lasting Change

For me, every session is another step towards helping my clients resolve problems and create, maintain and protect the kind of relationship they’ve always hoped for.

After All These Years

Today, many years and hundreds of clients later, I’m still as excited when everything falls into place and what seemed impossible only weeks before starts to change as I was with my very first couple.

That excitement has never faded. Nor have I ever lost sight of how much this work matters or the responsibility that comes with it.

I hope, after reading this page, you have a sense of who I am, why I do this work and how seriously I take the trust people place in me.

What You Can Expect From Me

I’ve been where you are and I never forget what that feels like. I know how difficult it can be to trust someone you’ve only just met with something as precious as your relationship.
I care in two ways. I care about you as people, but I also care deeply about the quality of therapy you receive.

Whilst we may appear to be just having a conversation, I’m constantly listening, thinking, understanding and working for you.

I know learning new ways of thinking, communicating and responding isn’t easy. That’s why patience, encouragement and guidance are an important part of how I work.

I don’t rush therapy. However, I’m always thinking about what will help next and will encourage you and, when needed, gently nudge you.

I never confuse the person with the behaviour. Good people don’t always behave at their best, particularly when they’re hurting, frightened or don’t know another way. I know because that was once true for me too.

Humour got me through many difficult times in my own life, and I think it has an important place in therapy too. Relationships can be serious, but sessions naturally have their moments too.

I don’t stop thinking about you just because the session ends and you walk out of the door.

Specialties & Main Training

I specialise in relationship-focused psychotherapy, drawing on extensive experience from both couples work and general clinical practice.

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