Couples Psychotherapy for Reigate
Helping you move from repeated difficulties towards a different way of being together
Hi, I'm Paul
I didn’t come to couples psychotherapy only through professional training. More than 20 years ago, I was struggling to make my own relationship work. We tried to change things, but the same problems kept returning and I felt increasingly unsure what would make a difference.
Counselling did. The experience led me to retrain as a psychotherapist and later specialise in working with couples. For the past 15 years, I have worked exclusively in this area.
I know from both sides of the room how much relationships can matter and how painful it is when they are not working. I see couples from Reigate at my Caterham practice and online.
From understanding to lasting change
My approach to therapy delivers tangible changes: emotionally, practically, behaviourally and psychologically, in your relationship and not simply ways to cope better.
Insight is important, but understanding alone is not enough. I’m actively involved in helping you use what we discover to respond differently, communicate differently and begin changing the patterns that keep bringing you back to the same painful place.
We work not only on the problems in front of us, but on what keeps creating them.
A relationship where neither of you is judged
I know it can feel vulnerable to bring something as private as your relationship into therapy. I felt afraid and uncertain when I first needed counselling myself, and I remember how little I knew about what would happen.
I’m calm, patient and compassionate. Both of you will be treated with kindness, respect and dignity. I don’t take sides, and I’m not interested in judging either of you for the things that have gone wrong.
I will, however, help you face what needs to be faced. I’ll support and guide you through difficult moments without rushing you and without letting useful opportunities for change pass by.
How change becomes possible
Couples arrive caught in the same negative dynamic, with the same outcomes over and over again. Often, difficulties have run for years, or it’s one big thing or they feel their relationship is no more than just getting by.
Yet each week I see that when we introduce the knowledge and understanding needed, along with caring and effective communication in place of blame and judgement, old patterns drop away and what happens between them changes.
They can repair hurt, create a relationship that works for both and know how to solve differences without help.
I hope that after reading about how I help, you see change is possible for you too.
Find out more
If you’d simply like to ask a question, find out more or talk things through, you’re very welcome to call me. I’ll always make time for you, you won’t feel rushed and you don’t have to decide anything.
If you’d prefer to find out more first, you can read about how I work with couples, my background, what you can expect from counselling and how to get started.
You don’t have to know what you want to do next. Sometimes a conversation can help you work that out.
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