Couples Psychotherapy for Purley
Active, experienced help when your relationship feels stuck
Hi, I'm Paul
More than 20 years ago, I found myself needing help with my own relationship. We cared about each other, but nothing we tried seemed to produce lasting change. I remember the loneliness of not knowing how to get from where we were to where we wanted to be.
Counselling helped me do that. It also inspired me to retrain as a psychotherapist and specialise in couples work. For the past 15 years, working with couples has been the whole of my practice.
Because I have sat on the other side of the room, I haven’t forgotten what asking for help can feel like. I work with couples from Purley at my Caterham practice and online.
Therapy with a purpose
I believe therapy should lead to a tangible difference in your relationship – in how you understand each other, how you respond, what you do and how it feels to be together.
Rather than only helping you cope better with recurring difficulties, we look at what keeps them happening. I’ll be actively involved, helping you make sense of the patterns between you and supporting you as you create different ones.
The work is about change you can carry back into your life together.
How I will be with you
Talking to a stranger about your relationship can feel like a big step. I remember feeling afraid and unsure when I first sought counselling, and I never assume that walking through the door is easy.
I’m calm, patient and compassionate. I won’t judge either of you or decide who is right and wrong. Kindness, respect and dignity are central to the way I work.
But being kind is not the same as avoiding difficult things. I’ll guide you through conversations that matter, at a pace that feels manageable, while helping you make use of opportunities for progress.
Struggles end when you understand and change what you do
Couples arrive caught in the same negative dynamic, with the same outcomes over and over again. Often, difficulties have run for years, or it’s one big thing or they feel their relationship is no more than just getting by.
Yet each week I see that when we introduce the knowledge and understanding needed, along with caring and effective communication in place of blame and judgement, old patterns drop away and what happens between them changes.
They can repair hurt, create a relationship that works for both and know how to solve differences without help.
I hope that after reading about how I help, you see change is possible for you too.
Find out more
If you’d simply like to ask a question, find out more or talk things through, you’re very welcome to call me. I’ll always make time for you, you won’t feel rushed and you don’t have to decide anything.
If you’d prefer to find out more first, you can read about how I work with couples, my background, what you can expect from counselling and how to get started.
You don’t have to know what you want to do next. Sometimes a conversation can help you work that out.
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