Couples Psychotherapy for Westerham
Compassionate psychotherapy with a clear focus on lasting change
Hi, I'm Paul
More than 20 years ago, I knew what it was like to be in a relationship I desperately wanted to work but didn’t know how to change. We tried, but nothing seemed to make a lasting difference. It was painful and lonely.
Getting counselling changed that. It also set me on a completely different path: I retrained as a psychotherapist, specialised in couples work and, for the past 15 years, have worked exclusively with couples.
I still carry the memory of needing help myself. It helps me remember what may be behind the decision to contact me. I work with couples from Westerham at my practice in Caterham and online.
Working for change, not simply coping
I want therapy to make a tangible difference to your relationship. That means emotional and psychological change, but also practical and behavioural change that you can feel in everyday life.
I’ll be actively involved in our sessions. Together we’ll understand what keeps going wrong, practise different ways of responding and build changes that can continue outside the therapy room.
The purpose is not simply to become better at living with the problem. It is to change what keeps creating it.
What working together feels like
I understand how vulnerable it can feel to talk openly about your relationship. When I first sought counselling, I was unsure, frightened and didn’t really know what to expect. I don’t forget that when couples come to see me.
My manner is calm, patient and compassionate. I work with kindness, respect and dignity and I won’t judge either of you or take sides. We are all capable of saying or doing things we later wish we had handled differently.
I’m supportive, but not passive. I’ll help you through the conversations and moments that matter, at a pace that is right for you, while keeping us moving towards the changes you want.
Why I know difficult relationships can change
Couples arrive caught in the same negative dynamic, with the same outcomes over and over again. Often, difficulties have run for years, or it’s one big thing or they feel their relationship is no more than just getting by.
Yet each week I see that when we introduce the knowledge and understanding needed, along with caring and effective communication in place of blame and judgement, old patterns drop away and what happens between them changes.
They repair hurt, create a relationship that works for both and know how to solve differences without help.
I hope that after reading about how I help, you see change is possible for you too.
Find out more
If you’d simply like to ask a question, find out more or talk things through, you’re very welcome to call me. I’ll always make time for you, you won’t feel rushed and you don’t have to decide anything.
If you’d prefer to find out more first, you can read about how I work with couples, my background, what you can expect from counselling and how to get started.
You don’t have to know what you want to do next. Sometimes a conversation can help you work that out.
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