Couples Counselling
Understanding what's happening between you — and creating lasting change.
How Couples Get Stuck
It’s often confusing to couples why, when they try so hard, they can’t sort things out.
It’s because couples can’t see the many moving parts that influence their relationship. If they could, they would naturally change how they are with each other. Some of these are about ourselves, some about our partner, and some about the relationship itself. These often combine with difficulties communicating well and understanding what successful relationships need to thrive.
No one ever teaches us these things in any meaningful way, so we’re left to work it all out for ourselves. That’s why it’s hard to know what to do when things go wrong.
Partners often end up trying harder but making things worse because they don’t understand what’s really happening and are trying to solve the wrong problem. Partners also fear repeating exhausting arguments, so difficult issues are left alone. Over time, this leads to less affection, less conversation, less time together, and the very ways someone protects themselves from hurt and disappointment can create the very distance they were trying to avoid.
My approach can help couples no matter what stage their relationship is at. I see relationships that have been distant for years heal and reconnect, and couples solve longstanding difficulties that only weeks before they thought were impossible.
As I’m often told, ‘it feels like they’ve got my back again.’
A More Complete Approach
My approach goes beyond traditional couples counselling by giving you a clear way forward.
I combine psychotherapy, relationship education, practical skills, tools and ongoing guidance. My training and experience as a psychotherapist means I can work at a deeper level, helping you understand not only your relationship but also what each of you brings to it.
You will have a clear plan, with weekly guidance during and between sessions, helping you understand and make the changes needed.
As a result, couples often see progress more quickly, with improvements you can recognise and measure at each step of our work together.
How We Create Change Together
Relationships need you to be able to see the moving parts, understand your partner emotionally, recognise their needs, and quickly solve differences between you.
The Framework enables this and is the key to success, putting you both in control so you can influence the outcomes.
The Framework brings together the four key areas:
1
Therapeutic
Understanding how and why negative thoughts, feelings and reactions are triggered between you both, and how to step out of them, freeing you to choose responses that protect your relationship and maintain a positive relationship dynamic.
2
Relational Skills
Developing the ability to understand and respond to both your own feelings and your partner’s. You’ll learn how to recognise what each of you needs, stay emotionally connected during difficult moments, and help ensure both your needs are understood and met.
3
Communication Skills & Tools
Developing the practical communication skills needed to approach even the most sensitive issues in ways that help you both feel heard and understood. You’ll learn how to communicate clearly, understand each other’s perspective, manage strong emotions and work together to find solutions that work for you both.
4
Relationship Knowledge
Understanding the proven principles that underpin highly successful relationships and, specifically, how to apply them to yours, enabling both partners to feel deeply connected, cared for and valued, while creating a relationship that feels uniquely yours.
What You Gain
While always focusing on your priorities, you’ll discover how to:
- Apply the knowledge that creates close, secure and passionate relationships.
- Resolve difficulties quickly.
- Understand what their partner really needs.
- Build and maintain emotional and physical intimacy.
- Create trust, security and mutual respect.
- Manage change together without growing apart.
- Understand and manage strong emotions.
- Communicate their thoughts, feelings and needs clearly.
- Value differences and work together as a team.
- Feel free to be themselves whilst helping their partner feel free to be themselves.
- Shape a joint vision for the future they both want.
A Framework You Can Rely On
Our work together gives you everything you need to grow and protect your relationship for the future.
The Framework becomes your natural way of being together, helping you see and understand the moving parts, and giving you the tools and skills to solve future difficulties quickly and protect your relationship for years to come.
You’ll both know exactly what to do.
Fees
£140 — 75 minutes
I don’t believe you should have to pay until you’ve experienced what it’s like working together and decided you’d like to continue.
I also offer longer sessions than are typical, allowing enough time to develop deeper understanding and create lasting change.
Taking the Next Step
If you’d simply like to know more or ask a few questions, please feel free to call me. I’ll always make time for you.
When you’re ready to meet, you’ll find everything you need to know on the Getting Started page, including what to expect from your first meeting, how we begin working together, and why I approach it differently.